New Year: New Me: a Poem for 2020.

I travel freely
across the lands and the seas
communicating creatively
sharing my hope and healing journey
resources flow abundantly
Love expands inside of me
my expression creates a community
and together we create Unity

my mind: Peace and serenity
my Higher Self grows strong in me
healing my Self entirely!
then extending out to others who seek
I live and speak authentically
now catalysing energy
fulfillment comes so easily!
karma gone, yeah, now I’m free!

I find, embrace soul family
those I love are near to me
both emotionally and physically
understanding unconditionally
loads of fun and good times, naturally!

Yeah I want a life of
Passionate Prosperity
and with all my dreams a part of me
their fruition comes inevitably…

x

In Between Worlds: a Poem

I want this new beginning
but struggling to believe…
‘cuz I’ve gone all in before
with what I wanted, I was sure
yet ended up on the floor…

The only difference:
this is Music
and True Love
literally all I’ve ever dreamed of…

All before I was taught to believe
in something very far from me
but this vision came straight from me
so I must relearn to believe in me!

So I leave the past behind.
I make a stand for what’s mine:
and go all in, one last time…

Like a Broken Record: a Poem.

I need help.
I can’t see a way through.
Feeling the same old feelings,
that I always do…
Trying to create,
but keep falling on my face.
Jealousy and feeling empty,
distracting me from what I could be.

The past, it catches up with me:
a life of broken misery;
trying my best to transmute it,
but am I accidentally living it?
(And how do I know the difference?)

‘Cuz the feelings, they don’t go away,
although I tap and tap away;
I write and talk and smoke the reefer
that offers insight & brief relief, yeah.
But then, when I’m alone with Self,
it’s clear it SUCKS, my mental health.
Like a broken record, fear and shame,
it’s keeping me and my life the same..

A Note to Self (when struggling)

You ARE supposed to transcend these dense energies (feelings); you MUST feel them before you can release them. One day at a time, you feel it all, until there is no more pain to be felt. Tap it out. LET IT GO. You are safe during this process.

The visions and intuitions you feel about yourself ARE TRUE. You are up-leveling in consciousness. This vision is where you are headed, but it’s just the beginning! You have an important mission and you WILL fulfill it. It is your destiny, dear one.

You are “fighting off the diseased programming of centuries,” ¹ of course it’s hard; of course it takes patience and time, and right now you are being MADE to TRUST and ACCEPT. The only other option is to wallow in the negativity. Heal all that brings you down, to the best of your ability at the time, and TRUST that all you ask for will be on the other side.

“It might seem like its all uphill
and you may be right
but at the top of this hill
everything’s lit with a new light.” ²

Never. Give. Up.

“You have to go through the worst of the worst so you can help others also in that desperate situation.” ³

Remember that.

¹ “Science” – System of a Down
² “Focus on Your Own Family” – Off With Their Heads
³ “Your Dreams Will Happen” – ClaiRebel Artistry

A Heart Misplaced: a Poem.

I’m sucked into your love.
Enchanted. Mind blown.
And all the stories that I’ve known
they don’t even come close…
You pulled me in,
but pulled me under;
you’re absence like a roar of thunder.
You opened me
in ways no one had seen;
your energy, it captivated me;
obliterated me;
I’m still finding the pieces,
scattered; unsure.
Now all alone I want you more.
Selfish desires?
Neglecting myself?
But what I feel, it cannot be helped.
So I just write it down on the page,
clarity of mind;
a soul bare;
a heart misplaced.

 

Anger at Myself: a Poem

I’m not angry at the Universe
I’m angry at Myself
with all these visions
of who I’m to be
and yet I’m stuck
in the fear;
the sadness and the darkness
I can’t move forward

So frustrated
that what I do
is never enough
I give of myself
so damn much
but not much return
a surviving kind of life
I do it to myself
I’ve been blinded inside

The Very Worst Version of Me: a Poem

I’ve said bad things
I’ve done bad things
yet I am my own worst critic
I find it hard to forgive

I am full of fear
I am full of doubt
afraid I’ll never move past this
and be stuck, alone
where I don’t want to be

Most days I feel ugly
Most days I feel shame
just to show up as I really am
I feel unacceptable
unloveable
unable to see

This is the very worst version of me