Fear: a Poem

I’m scared of being heard
of being seen
of doing the wrong things
I’m scared of the pain
of the constant fucking heartache
scared of my over-sensitivity…

I’m scared of feeling forever alone
of never truly being seen
(yeah I know, I’m contradicting…)
or known
I’m scared I’m trapped within their home
I’m scared of the time it takes to grow
and what horrible shit
I’m gonna have to go through…

I’m scared of my potential
and how I’ll live up to it
I’m scared I’m not talented
or special enough to do this
despite all the dreams & musings
a part of me just feels foolish
I’m scared it’s all just so amusing
to God or whatever is overseeing
that a fucked up girl like me
thinks they could ever have
a successful life in artistry…

~~~

watch my spoken word version of this poem
on YouTube: https://youtu.be/i4u4JYSA_0g

Speak Up: a Poem

sometimes it’s hard to speak up(!!)
to share all that you’re thinking of…
the musings, doubts and dreams:
far out
yeah everything that you’re about…

the rejection fear can be so real
others projecting on what you feel…
so often tempting just not to reveal…
but I know what a life like that can deal…

so I’m learning to open up again
more authentic than I’ve ever been
though all that fear still rages within
I know speaking up will conquer it💪

Surrounded by Restriction: a Poem

surrounded by restriction
life and mind is my affliction
daily praying for change
but nothing coming my way…

so what more can I do?
than hope and wait for pastures new?
stuck all alone in a single room
stuck; stale emotions coming through
entrenched beliefs now in full view
and “my high potential” seems reduced
as stronger forces continue to
decimate
and incarcerate
my avenues,
my breakthroughs,
my expansion into the brand new…

Stagnant Thoughts: a Poem

It’s torturous
it’s compelling
the stagnant thoughts
they’re joy repelling
can’t reach for more
can’t take no more!
I’m stuck inside
a mental war…
I’m stuck inside
a mind uproar…
just stuck inside…
my freedom’s nought…

Yeah, freedom’s just
a wishful thought
yeah, freedom’s just
a passing force
yeah, freedom doesn’t
like my sort…
a mind that
only seeks to thwart
seems I’ll never find
what I’m looking for…

Healing: a Poem

Healing taking its time…
trying my best not to undermine
to embrace what I feel
the pain inside
and continue to strive
for My Highest Shine
my unique frequency
come to life 🌟🔥🌟

Adversity: a Poem

Finding peace in adversity;
joy in the pain and the suffering
good advice when I can find it
but more often than not I feel blinded

More often than not I can’t hide it
the frustration of where my life is
so desperately trying to succeed
so all this shit is in the past for me

‘Cuz all this shit is a catastrophe!
and all this shit keeps taking over me!
and all my dreams of being light & free
seems just a
cruel,
unattainable,
fantasy…

________________________________________
Check out my spoken word/mini song version of this poem on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/1kLh4tsZ02I